Title: The Art of “Not-Quite-Doing” – How to Recover from a Life Lived on Overdrive

For decades, I lived by willpower. I felt like I needed to prove something to earn affirmation, achieve something to get validation. Determination and tenacity became my trusted tools, and for a long time, they worked. Maybe you can relate?

It got me far-businesses built, goals achieved, people helped, energy generated from sheer determination. But it also cost me more than I realized: multiple burnouts, mood disorders, an autoimmune kidney disease (MCNS), and a body that was constantly stuck in survival mode, even when life was good.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been there too. Driven, high-performing, deeply committed, and worn thin. Maybe your body whispers now what it used to shout. Maybe you’ve discovered that your old ways of pushing no longer work. Maybe you’re learning, like I did, that recovery isn’t about doing more, but doing less-intentionally, wisely, and in sync with the body that’s been trying to keep you alive all along.

Let me share what I’ve learned-not just from books or studies, but from my body, my failures, and a few deeply transformative insights backed by science.

1. Your Nervous System Isn’t Broken. It’s Overtrained.

If you’ve spent years in high alert, performance mode, or emotional suppression, your sympathetic nervous system (the fight-flight-freeze system) becomes the default setting. You may feel wired, tired, or both. Recovery begins when you recognize that this isn’t weakness-it’s a pattern your body learned to keep you safe.

“Your nervous system doesn’t need fixing. It needs re-education.”

What helps:

• Omega-3 (EPA & DHA): Proven to reduce inflammation and support vagal tone.
• Slow, nasal breathing: Especially long exhales. This activates the vagus nerve, which signals to your body, “You’re safe now.”
• Meditation that begins with somatic awareness, not cognitive focus. Feel first, reflect later.

2. T-Cell Regulation and Autoimmunity: Stress Matters More Than You Think

Before I continue, let me be clear: most medical professionals won’t tell you any of this.

My nephrologist, for instance, confidently told me that stress, lifestyle, and food have no measurable effect on my autoimmune condition (MCNS). Why? Because the clinical protocol doesn’t include it. Most specialists are trained to treat symptoms with medication-not to understand or address the complex interaction between the nervous system, the immune system, and lifestyle.

But the science tells a different story.

Even anatomical studies suggest that the kidney is influenced by more than just immune cells or medication. A 2015 study in Pediatric Nephrology (DOI: 10.1007/s00467-015-3045-y) highlights how vascular compression can affect kidney function-pointing to the reality that kidneys are impacted by a dynamic interaction of immune signals, circulation, hormones, and nervous system states.

Autoimmune diseases like MCNS aren’t just random. They’re deeply linked to T-cell dysregulation, especially a lack of T-regulatory cells that should calm inflammatory responses.

Chronic stress suppresses these regulatory cells. One 2009 study even found that psychosocial stress significantly increases the risk of relapse in children with idiopathic nephrotic syndrome, reinforcing the link between emotional state and immune activity (Pediatric Nephrology, DOI: 10.1007/s00467-008-0902-0).

Science says:

• High cortisol (stress hormone) over time shrinks the thymus gland, where T-cells mature.
• Practices like mindfulness (biblical) meditation and parasympathetic recovery (e.g. breathwork) have been shown to increase T-reg function.
• HRV (Heart Rate Variability)-a marker of nervous system balance-is positively correlated with immune resilience.

Translation: Your immune system doesn’t just need medication. It needs your nervous system to feel safe.

• Black, D.S. & Slavich, G.M. (2016). Mindfulness meditation and the immune system: a systematic review of randomized controlled trials. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences.
• Marsland, A.L., et al. (2017). Stress, inflammation, and the immune system. Current Directions in Psychological Science.
• Thayer, J.F. & Lane, R.D. (2000). A model of neurovisceral integration in emotion regulation and dysregulation. Journal of Affective Disorders.]]

3. Recovery Doesn’t Come from Rest Alone. It Comes from Rhythm.

Healing isn’t a weekend at the beach. It’s daily rhythm. Predictable cycles. Conscious pauses.

The body craves safety in routine-especially when it has known the chaos of burnout.

Build your days around:

• Sleep anchoring: same bedtime, same wake time
• Movement with awareness: strength training, zone 2 cardio, and “almost-but-not-pushing” effort (more on that below)
• Nourishment that regulates: healthy fats, zinc, selenium, magnesium, proteins
• Breath + stillness + sunlight

4. The Power of “Not-Quite-Doing”

Here’s a paradox that saved me: most of us who crash didn’t get there by being lazy; we got there by overperforming. So healing doesn’t look like doing nothing. It looks like learning to stop at 80%, to train just below the red line, to resist the addictive thrill of achievement.

The nervous system heals when you learn to do enough, not everything.

I call it “training in the art of not-quite-going”. It’s the difference between:

• Running to get faster vs. running to feel your body
• Working out to grow stronger vs. to prove something
• Meditating to reconnect vs. to “succeed” at relaxing

This is what creates nervous system resilience instead of resistance.

5. Measure Progress by Soft Signals

Your body won’t send you trophies. It sends you whispers:

• You slept deeper.
• Your breath stayed calm during a hard moment.
• You noticed fatigue before pain.
• You felt joy without stimulation.

Healing isn’t necessarily dramatic. It’s cumulative.

Track those soft signals. That’s the real progress.

6. The Five Systems That Need Synchronization

Think of your recovery as a symphony of five healing domains:

1. Nervous system balance (sympathetic/parasympathetic)
2. Immune regulation (T-cells, inflammation)
3. HPA-axis rhythm (stress hormones)
4. Sleep repair (deep + REM phases)
5. Interoception (your felt sense of self)

When these are in sync, your body not only recovers-it becomes wise.

7. The Deep Wisdom of Psalm 131

This ancient Hebrew song might be the most powerful blueprint for nervous system recovery I’ve ever read. It begins not with control, ambition, or striving-but with surrender.

“My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.”

This isn’t apathy. It’s a conscious choice to stop pushing for recognition, success, or control-and instead to rest in quiet hope.

“But I have calmed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

This is the essence of nervous system regulation: to become like a child who no longer demands from life, but rests in trust.

“Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.”

Recovery begins when we let go of being our own savior. Psalm 131 reminds us: maturity isn’t found in striving, but in surrender.

Final Words: This Isn’t a Retreat. It’s a Return.

This journey isn’t about avoiding life. It’s about showing up in life with a nervous system that’s finally on your side.

You don’t need to be softer, weaker, or less driven. You need to be more connected, more rhythmic, and more honest with your body’s cues.

That’s the road to wholeness.

I’m walking it too.

PS If you want to join me on my journey to wholeness and ease, check out the websites links.